Thoughts #2

### Hello Dear Stranger,

It’s been a long time. During this period, I’ve had the chance to reflect on myself—my choices, my surroundings, the people in my life, and my responsibilities. One realization stands out: I am not yet fully grown. I will never be a completely “grown” individual in every sense. The person I am today doesn’t like the person I was yesterday, and I suspect that tomorrow I won’t like the person I am today.

It’s strange, this constant desire to learn, develop, and explore, no matter what stage of life I find myself in. Even in the deepest points of my life, this urge persists. What’s even stranger is that I used to talk a lot—constantly, in fact. But now, even those I am closest to (which isn’t many) have started asking, “Why are you so silent? What is wrong?” The truth is, I don’t exactly know what happened either.

Something happened—something life-changing, something profound and meaningful. It has visited me, but I have not yet realized what this mysterious thing is. Is it an end or a fresh start? Is it harmful or harmless? Is it good or bad? I don’t know, but I do know that it has ended my old self for good. I no longer talk, sleep, think, socialize, expect, search, or live the way I used to.

It’s both extremely scary and fascinating at the same time. I am amazed by how much this thing has changed me and will continue to change me. Sometimes, I look in the mirror and no longer recognize remnants of my old self. I guess this is one of those transition periods we all experience in what we call ‘life.’ We will have to see what tomorrow brings.

We are here to laugh at the odds and live our lives so well that Death will tremble to take us.

—Charles Bukowski