Thoughts #8

### Hello Dear Stranger,

It’s been a while. I hope this piece finds you well and that your biggest problem is still finding a pair of socks.

Today, I am writing about my own life—what I have been up to, the changes I have seen, and my expectations. My life is constantly changing because I am a man who cannot live without change. I have been busy discovering new people and allowing special guests into my life, studies, and all that. It might sound boring, but it’s not. The people who have joined my life have made dramatic changes in me, particularly in a sentimental way, and I have never been happier in my 21 years of life.

I believe that a particular person has made me feel this way, but I also believe in the universe. Since I am constantly trying to attract good deeds, I believe the universe has been responding to my messages in various ways. I have always tried to be a good person by definition: spending my time on good things that make others happy, not just myself. I may have done things that contradict this, but I believe intentions are more important than actions. If you are unintentionally a bad person, I do not consider you a bad person if you intend to be good. You may or may not agree, but knowing someone’s intention dramatically changes how you see that person. Seeing is no longer believing. We tend to judge people based on how they live their lives rather than trying to understand their intentions. This is where we distinguish between looking and seeing. Seeing is different from looking. When a person sees something, it is done through the heart rather than the eyes. Eyes look at things, but the heart sees what is really happening around oneself.

Another day, I feel a little sore, a little resentful, a little hurt. On the other hand, I feel extraordinarily happy and hopeful because I was able to save a beautiful friendship. In fact, it wasn’t me at all; anyone could have done what I did. It was the others who saved this beauty. If they hadn’t sat down and talked through what happened, leaving honor and integrity aside, it would not have been saved at all. Even if the Messiah arrived today. Hence, I am grateful to be included in this event. Even if my part was the tiniest part, it will make me smile till my last breath.

My soreness today has nothing to do with my physical health. I have been eating and sleeping enough, maintaining good physical health without any problems. However, it is not always within one’s power to maintain healthy mental welfare. It may be possible to intervene to an extent, but not much if someone can drastically change it with a word from their lips.

Time is a very misleading thing. All there is ever is the now. We can gain experience from the past, but we can’t relive it; we can hope for the future, but we don’t know if there is one. As a person who prefers to live a simple, non-complicated life, I choose to live in the moment. People tend to live in the future, constantly making plans, constantly procrastinating. Or they live in the past, ‘belonging to an earlier time.’ Then there are those who live in the moment, with all its gifts, memories, and feelings. I belong to the last category. If I feel blessed, I live that moment and take the feeling to my prison (mind). If I feel sad, I feel sad. I don’t make plans to be happy; I just feel sad. The reason is that if I am sad at that moment, I know that everything is as it should be, that nothing extraordinary has happened, and that another moment (probably a happy one) will replace this. Us humans forget that we are fortunately mortal beings. Mortality should push people to live in the moment. For some reason, it seems to do the exact opposite. How often do you think about death in your daily life? Once a week? A month? A year? Never? I thought so. If you make plans and wait for everything to be perfect, you never think of death, which makes it a very sad, melancholic event for you. To me, death is just a process of an ending. I can happily fulfill this process now because I have no plans, because I live in this very moment, and won’t be sad if I’m gone by the next one. The more you keep your expectations, the happier you will be. Not living in the moment, making plans, procrastinating, and having constant expectations are the biggest enemies of happiness. If you make plans, you have expectations. At least, you expect that you will execute that plan, causing sadness if you cannot. That is when we consider what could happen at least. I leave to your imagination what more can happen.

Feelings expire, just like any other thing in life. The best way to benefit from something is to use it while it is fresh, at its peak, before it gets a little distorted, a little rotten, a little off. When it feels most scary to jump in, that is exactly when you should jump. Otherwise, you will end up staying in the same place your whole life, and that I can’t do.

You can wait a million years
If you think that time will change your ways
Don’t wait too long
When your morning turns to night
Who’ll be loving you by candlelight
If you think that time will change your ways
Don’t wait too long

Try living in the moment once; I’ll charge you later 🙂

Farewell,

— Giray